


And Again, I Feel the Pain

by princejoopie



Category: The Umbrella Academy (TV)
Genre: Angst with a Happy Ending, Canonical Character Death, Fix-It, Fluff and Angst, Implied/Referenced Drug Use, Klaus Hargreeves Needs A Hug, M/M, Temporary Character Death, War-Typical Violence, we live by the klave we die by the klave
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-08-29
Updated: 2020-09-09
Packaged: 2021-03-06 14:41:39
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 4
Words: 4,217
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26180578
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/princejoopie/pseuds/princejoopie
Summary: February twenty-first started out like any other day. Again.ORHow Klaus Hargreeves saved his lover's life. Eventually.
Relationships: Klaus Hargreeves/David "Dave" Katz
Comments: 15
Kudos: 145





	1. Day One

**Author's Note:**

> So this idea came to me at 3am a few nights ago and thankfully I was smart and wrote it down B) Not sure how many chapters this will be but definitely no more than 4. It's not tagged as "major character death" because he doesn't stay dead but his death scene does go into some minor detail so be warned.

February twenty-first started out like any other day, with Klaus jolting awake in his cot from a nightmare.

Even though Dave was just feet away, the only time Klaus didn't have nightmares was when he was sleeping in Dave's arms. He couldn't wait for their next leave.

Klaus rolled over onto his side, looking across at Dave's peacefully sleeping form. If you'd asked him a year ago, he never would've been able to guess how deeply and truly a person could feel love for another, let alone the idea that  _ he'd _ be able to feel that someday.

But he did. He felt all of that and more for Dave. His heart fluttered as he watched Dave's eyes open to the gentle sunlight filtering in through gaps in the canvas.

The first thing Dave did was turn his head to look at Klaus. Upon seeing him awake, he whispered, "Hey, you okay? Nightmares again?"

Klaus just nodded. "Better now that you're awake, though," he whispered back. They both reached out until their hands were gently touching, and they interlocked their pinkies and watched each other's softly smiling faces in silence. Soon they heard another man stir elsewhere in the tent, though, and they quickly separated.

Klaus wanted nothing more than to be held by Dave again, and that was the only thing on his mind as he got dressed and shuffled off to the mess tent with the other yawning men. And judging by the way they both ate in silence as their friends chatted away about nothing, Dave was thinking the same thing too.

Klaus wanted to curl up in his arms as they shared sweet whispered words in some shitty motel room. He wished they could be free to kiss and touch without fear. They would be able to again soon enough, though. They just had to hold out a while longer.

The day continued as normal from there, with marching and clearing jungle and watching footing carefully. But every time Klaus and Dave locked eyes, each could tell that the other was thinking the same thing. They wanted to hold each other. They craved that closeness again.

That night, around the fire, Klaus and Dave let their hands rest on the log they were sitting on so that just their pinkies were lightly touching. It was the closest they could get most of the time.

That was until Klaus stood and said he needed a smoke, and Dave agreed and moved to join him.

They snuck off behind a tent at the furthest edge of the camp, holding hands as they smoked and talked. They both wanted more-  _ needed _ more- but the best they could do here and now was gentle touches and quick kisses in between drags of their cigarettes, just in case anyone were to come looking for them.

"Do you think they'd notice if we snuck off into the woods for a little more… y'know,  _ privacy?" _ Klaus asked, playfully teasing at the hem of Dave's shirt.

Dave gently pushed his hand away and replied, "As tempting as it is, they probably would."

"Aww, you're no fun," Klaus whined, leaning in for another brief kiss. "Pleeease? Just for ten minutes?"

Dave smiled softly. "Okay. But only-" He was cut off, though, by the sound of bombs whistling overhead and landing in painfully loud cracks and booms. They heard the sarge yelling from across camp, but just as Dave was about to run out from behind the cover of the tent, Klaus grabbed the back of his neck and pulled him into a kiss.

They always tried to, before a firefight. Just in case.

When they broke apart a few seconds later, Dave took Klaus's hands in his own and whispered, "You're my one and only."

"One and only," Klaus echoed.

One more quick kiss and they were both sprinting toward their tent to grab their gear, with people yelling and running all the while. Back home, such a thing probably would've sent Klaus into a panic attack, but it was all routine at this point.

It was all a blur from there, and the next thing Klaus knew, he and Dave were laying side by side in a trench, trying to hold some stupid hill in this godforsaken war that Klaus couldn't  _ wait _ to get out of.

And then Klaus said something that even  _ he _ barely registered, and Dave didn't respond. Dave  _ always _ responded to Klaus's stupid ramblings, even if it was just with a,  _ 'Yeah.' _

Klaus called Dave's name and turned to look at him, but again, there was no response.

Suddenly on high alert, Klaus shook him and rolled him over, only to see the gaping hole in his chest. And that was when everything stopped.

Klaus could faintly hear himself screaming for a medic and mumbling reassuring words into Dave's ears, but really, truly, nothing existed in that moment except Dave, and his beautiful face now stained with his own blood.

Shamelessly sobbing and probably smearing blood all over Dave's cheeks as he gently cradled his face, it felt like everything was crashing down around Klaus. Everything that had ever gone right for him in the past year was crumbling and collapsing in on him, and he could barely hear his own anguished cries over the sound of his heart thumping in his ears.

This couldn't be happening. This  _ couldn't _ be happening.

Everything had been  _ so right _ just moments ago, when they were smoking and kissing out at the edge of camp. They always tried to kiss before a firefight, but it never meant much to Klaus. Never did it fully sink in that any one of those times might've truly been their last.

But it happened, and it was here, and Klaus couldn't see anything through the tears nor feel anything but the blood.

Dave stayed on sputtering out blood and clinging to life for a few more minutes, and Klaus could do nothing but watch as his body finally went limp and all signs of life left his bright blue eyes.

Moving almost in a trance, Klaus reached down with shaking hands and pulled Dave's dog tags from around his neck before turning and sprinting back in the direction of their camp. He could hear others calling after him but he didn't care. He just ran until he was back at their tent, and quickly slid the briefcase out from under his cot, still hearing bombs and gunfire in the distance.

Klaus didn't care about any of it. He just wanted to be back home and get high off his ass and forget that anything in the past ten months had ever happened.

After setting the dials, he clicked open the case, and in a flash of blue light he jolted awake in his cot on the morning of February twenty-first.


	2. Day Two

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This was a little rushed but hopefully it's okay.

When Klaus awoke, the first thing he remembered was that Dave was dead. The second thing he remembered was his attempt to leave the night before.

He must've passed out when he opened the briefcase, and someone must've found him like that and heaved him into his cot and tucked the case back under it.

He had to leave, though. He would try again, as many times as it took. Dave was his rock, his salvation, and Klaus couldn't survive here without him. His eyes started to blur with tears again just thinking about it.

Klaus rolled over and draped a hand over the side of the cot, feeling around for the briefcase underneath. Just as he grabbed onto the handle, though, he looked across to the next cot over and...

There was Dave, sleeping peacefully. And by all measures, he was very much alive.

_ Had it all been a dream? _

It  _ couldn't _ be. Klaus had nightmares every night, and none of them were ever that vivid, that realistic, that utterly heartbreakingly  _ painful. _ He could still  _ feel  _ the blood under his fingernails, even though when he looked, there was nothing but a light layer of dirt.

Just then, Dave's eyes opened, and he turned his head to look at Klaus. "Hey, you okay?" he whispered, seeing the concerned look on Klaus's face. "Nightmares again?"

Klaus nodded. "A really really bad one this time."

"Wanna talk about it?"

Klaus just shook his head and extended his hand to touch Dave's.

Neither of them spoke a word until they were at the breakfast table. "Hey, so… what day is it?" Klaus asked hesitantly.

"Twenty-first," Dave replied.

"Okay," Klaus mumbled. "Yeah, I thought so." So it  _ was _ a dream.

"Hey," Dave said softly. Klaus looked up to meet his eyes. "I miss you."

Klaus thought about Dave's warm embrace, the way he'd hold Klaus close and play with his hair and pepper his face in little kisses. It was absolute heaven. He needed it like he needed air.

"I miss you too," he replied.

"Soon," Dave said with a bright smile.

Klaus couldn't help but smile back, but that sinking feeling in his gut told him that that day would never come. Dave would die in his arms again tonight, and that would be the closest he'd ever get to him again.

"Hey," Dave said gently, reaching out to tilt Klaus's chin up so he was facing him, "Where'd you go?"

Klaus moved Dave's hand away and mumbled, "Nowhere. I'm fine."

"Okay," Dave said, and he left it at that.

The day continued as normal from there, with all of the same marching and clearing jungle and watching footing carefully that Klaus had experienced the day before. But every time he looked at Dave, he couldn't help but feel a strange sense of sadness and doom.

Yesterday  _ couldn't _ have been a dream. It was too  _ real. _ So…  _ why was it happening again? _

Would Dave still die again?

When they were all sitting around the fire that night, Klaus stood and said he needed a smoke, and Dave agreed and followed.

As they stood behind the tent at the edge of camp, smoking and kissing and gently touching, Klaus's mind raced with all of the possibilities for how to get out of this. What should he say? What  _ could _ he say that would convince Dave?

He settled on the only thing he could think of: the truth.

"Hey…" he mumbled, "Can I tell you something kinda crazy?"

"Shoot," Dave said.

Klaus sighed. "Okay… you're…  _ not _ gonna believe me, but… I'm a time traveler."

Dave was silent for a moment, staring straight ahead at the woods. After an achingly long stretch of several seconds, he turned to face Klaus, chuckling and saying, "You're right. I don't."

"Dave,  _ please," _ Klaus insisted, growing desperate. "I  _ need _ you to believe me. I'm a time traveler from fifty years in the future and you  _ need _ to believe me, Dave, because you're gonna die tonight and I need to-"

"Klaus,  _ stop," _ Dave said firmly.

Klaus shut up and just stared at him, wide-eyed.

After a pause and another drag of his cigarette, Dave said, "We both know I love sci-fi, but this is- that's all  _ fake, _ Klaus. None of that is real."

Klaus opened his mouth to speak, but he couldn't find any of the words he wanted, so he let it close again.

Dave continued, "I don't know if the joke is just going over my head or what but-"

The sound of approaching bombs pierced the air, and once the realization set in, Dave turned to run.

_ "Wait!" _ Klaus called, but Dave was already halfway to their tent. And by the time Klaus caught up, there were men running every which way and there wasn't nearly enough privacy to continue their conversation.

As they ran to the front lines, Klaus tugged him aside and begged,  _ "Please, _ Dave, I  _ need _ you to trust me."

Dave pulled his arm free and snapped, "Now isn't the time for jokes, Klaus!" He increased his pace to keep up with the others. "Tell me about it later."

Well, there wasn't a later. 

Dave died in Klaus's arms again, just as he had the previous day. And all of the anguish and raw emotion and shaking, shuddering sobs were just as real as they had been before.

Only this time, Klaus realized as he clung to Dave's body and cried, they hadn't even gotten to kiss first. 

The tears streaking down his face clouded his vision again as he ran back to the tent and pulled out the briefcase.

Klaus had a second chance at the day and he  _ fucking blew it. _ And now Dave was gone for good.

He clicked open the case, the blue light surrounded him, and he jolted awake in his cot again. This time he didn't even have to ask what day it was.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for reading! As always, feedback is appreciated! Ily guys <3


	3. Days Three - Forty-Six

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So I know I only posted chapter 2 two days ago but I finished this so I thought why not. I also have the last chapter finished now too so expect that in a couple more days :)

This was going to be a lot harder than he thought.

Shooting upright in bed, Klaus took a moment to catch his breath, deciding whether or not he should turn his head to look at the next cot over.

One the one hand, he  _ really _ wanted Dave to be there, to be  _ alive. _ But at the same time, he really didn't want to be reliving this same day over and over for God knows how long. But it would be okay, if Dave was there. Dave would make everything okay. He always did.

Klaus finally turned, and sure enough, there was Dave fast asleep.

That became the routine on every February twenty-first for the next month and a half.

Klaus would awaken and turn to see Dave.  _ 'Hey, you okay? Nightmares again?' _ Dave would ask, and Klaus would just nod. They'd get up and talk a bit over breakfast, and then Klaus would start to brainstorm his course of action from there.

He tried something different every day. He could barely even keep track of the order anymore. It all just blended together as a fuzzy mental list of different failed attempts to break the cycle.

One time he tried to last the day and go to sleep as normal. It was difficult with how hard he was crying at the thought of this way finally working, the thought that he would end up without Dave for real this time. But when he awoke, it was still the twenty-first.

Another day he tried to pull an all-nighter. If he didn't sleep at all then it  _ had _ to switch over to the next day. But all of the marching and fighting and emotional exhaustion won him over, and as soon as he closed his eyes for a second too long, he was waking up the previous morning again.

One day when he stood up to get a smoke he told Dave not to come with him, and he went and got the briefcase and tried to leave on his own, before Dave died, but that was a failure just like his other attempts.

The next day he snuck out as soon as he woke up and tried to escape first thing in the morning. Another failure.

Once, he tried to convince the sarge that shit would hit the fan that night, and that they needed to move out while they could.

No one but Dave knew the full extent of Klaus's powers, but everyone in their unit knew he could…  _ sense _ things that no one else could. He'd know exactly where to step around mines and he'd be able to pull men out of the way of snipers that he'd have no way of seeing from such a distance.

But the sarge just told him that holding their ground was all the more reason to stay put, and Klaus was about ready to kill him when Dave died again that night.

Klaus considered running into the woods and escaping on his own, to start a new life in the sixties, without Dave or any of his other baggage. But still, he'd only be able to stay awake for so long, and he knew when he fell asleep he'd just wake up in his cot again.

But eventually he gave up.

He gave up and started doing everything he could think of that he'd always wanted to do.

Klaus started off small, with a day of speaking his mind, getting belligerent with people and finally snapping at them all, even Dave. As soon as he did, though, he felt awful and ran for the briefcase right away.

One day, as they were sitting around the fire, he turned and pulled Dave into a deep kiss. Dave shoved him off, wide-eyed, and Todd, the guy who always picked on Klaus and called him a queer, stood and started yelling at them. "I fucking  _ knew _ it!" he shouted. He turned to Dave and said, "But  _ you, _ Katz?  _ Really?" _

"N-No-" Dave began to stutter out, but Klaus cut him off.

"Yeah,  _ Todd!" _ he yelled, standing and clenching his fists. "Dave and I are lovers, so you can go fuck yourself if you don't like it!"

Dave tried pulling Klaus back, but he and Todd were already rushing at each other and raising their fists.

The instant Todd's connected with the side of Klaus's head, he blacked out and woke up in his cot.  _ Holy shit, that was fun, _ he thought to himself, although he still felt guilty for the panic he sent Dave into, so he resolved not to do it again.

Finally, one day- he couldn't even  _ begin _ to guess how many it had been in total- he thought,  _ fuck it, _ and decided to get as high as he possibly could, to the point where he could barely walk, and everything anybody said was the funniest joke he'd ever heard.

His stomach was turning and he could hardly see straight, and maybe this  _ wasn't _ the best idea, but it was too late now. The concern on Dave's face was enough to make him regret every pill he'd popped.

Dave's eyes were wide, brow furrowed, as he kept his hand on Klaus's back as he dry-heaved at the edge of camp.

"Hey," Dave said gently, "What happened? Why'd you do this today?"

"I don't know," Klaus gasped out, before gagging again. "I just… Shit, Dave, I have a  _ lot _ going on that you wouldn't even  _ begin _ to understand, and I just… needed to be numb for it."

"Well you certainly don't look numb."

Klaus didn't have time to retort before he was collapsing to his knees and clutching his abdomen in pain. Dave dropped with him and continued gently rubbing his back as he heaved out gasping sobs.

Eyes full of worry and starting to fill with tears, Dave quietly asked. "Are you gonna be okay?"

Klaus just shook his head, and before he knew it he was losing consciousness and falling face-first to the ground, and waking up in his cot again.

He couldn't do that again. He couldn't put Dave though that kind of worry again, especially if the cycle decided to break and the next time when he collapsed he didn't wake up.

Klaus decided that he had to fix this.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for reading! <3


	4. Day Forty-Seven

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Another quick update! I have something else pretty big in the works that I'm really excited about so I was eager to finish this quickly.

When Klaus awoke, he decided that he needed a plan. A  _ real _ plan. One that had even the smallest sliver of a chance of succeeding.

They all got up as normal, with Klaus silently racking his brain the whole time.

"Hey, is everything alright?" Dave asked over breakfast. "You're really quiet today."

Klaus nodded. "Yeah, I'm fine. Just… a lot on my mind."

His thoughts were coming at a million miles an hour, but when he looked up at Dave, he felt himself relax, at least a bit. Dave's big blue eyes and gentle smile were all he ever needed to calm his nerves.

Dave deserved to know the truth. But that obviously didn't work last time. So Klaus decided on a compromise. The truth, but not the  _ whole _ truth.

That night, Klaus decided to forego the fire entirely in favor of buying himself some more time to talk to Dave. When they met up behind the tent at the edge of camp and each lit up their cigarettes, Klaus rehearsed what he was about to say over and over in his mind.

After he and Dave pulled back from a particularly tender kiss, he blurted out, "We should run away together."

Dave hesitated, clearly taken aback. "...What?" he asked.

"We can, you know," Klaus said quickly. "I know how."

"Klaus-"

"We can go somewhere far away from here where we won't have to worry about any of this ever again."

Dave paused to take another drag of his cigarette, his brow furrowed. "How?" he asked finally.

Klaus swallowed hard and pursed his lips. "I- I can't… explain it now, but you'll see."

"...Okay."

"There's a catch, though," Klaus said softly. Looking up at him inquisitively, Dave raised his cigarette to his lips again as he awaited an explanation. "You won't be able to see your friends and family again. Any life you had before the war you'll have to leave behind."

"Oh," Dave whispered. He hesitated again before saying, "I don't… I don't know. This is… a lot."

Klaus just nodded. "Yeah."

Sighing, Dave reached for the back of Klaus's neck and pulled him in for another kiss. "I love you. I just… I don't know. Can you give me some time to think on it?"

Klaus took a deep breath and replied, "No."

"Wh-"

"Dave, I have to tell you something else too."

The air fell deadly silent. Even the breeze seemed to stop rustling the trees, and the crickets seemed to stop chirping.

"...Okay," Dave said.

"And, so… You  _ know _ I have special…  _ abilities _ with this kind of thing…" Pausing to take another drag of his cigarette, Klaus thought about his next words carefully. Dave knew about the ghosts. He knew Klaus had a very complicated relationship with death. He was the only one who knew, the only one Klaus trusted enough to tell.

Taking another deep breath, Klaus said, "You're going to die tonight if you don't."

Dave's eyes widened as he looked up and met Klaus's, and Klaus just nodded in return.

Dave dropped his head to look at the dirt of the forest. After a deep sigh and what must've been a full minute of silence, he looked back up at Klaus and said, "I'll do it then."

"Really?" Klaus asked in disbelief, eyes starting to well up with tears.

"Of course," Dave said with a gentle smile. "If my choices are death or staying alive and living with you, I'm willing to make some sacrifices for that."

"Oh my God," Klaus exclaimed, tears spilling onto his cheeks as he all but collapsed into Dave's arms. "Thank you, Dave," Klaus mumbled into his shoulder. "I love you so much."

Rubbing his back and holding him close, Dave replied, "I love you too, angel."

Pulling back, Klaus grabbed Dave's hand and started trying to pull him along. "Now come on, we don't have very long."

Dave dropped his cigarette and followed, asking, "Where are we going?"

"I can't say now," Klaus said quickly. "You're gonna think I'm crazy, or- or joking. I'll explain when we get there. All I can tell you is that we have to go,  _ now-" _

Klaus was cut off, though, by the bombs streaking across the sky and landing in loud booms all around them. "No no no no  _ no, come on!" _ he shouted, attempting to pull Dave along faster.

"Wait," Dave said, "They need us! We have to help!"

"Dave, you're gonna die in that battle!" Klaus yelled over the sounds of movements and bombs and the shouts of others. Tears were starting to roll down his cheeks again. "You- We  _ can't,  _ Dave, you  _ have _ to come with me  _ now!" _

Dave hesitated, looking wide-eyed at the group of men running for their guns and taking off in the other direction. "...You're right," he said finally, and let Klaus continue to drag him along again.

People were still rushing to get all of their gear by the time Klaus and Dave arrived at their tent. But instead of getting their guns, Klaus just grabbed the briefcase out from under his cot and sprinted out of the tent again, with Dave following close behind. He could hear people yelling after them but he didn't care.

"We're taking it with us?" Dave asked as they navigated deeper into the woods.

"No," Klaus said, still catching his breath from the run, "It's taking us with it. You ready?"

Dave's confusion was apparent on his face, but he didn't say anything about it. "I guess so," he said simply.

"Okay," Klaus said, "Take my hand and don't let go."

Dave did as he was told, still looking apprehensive.

Klaus felt just as nervous too. Everything had gone  _ so right _ today, and it could so easily be undone if he opened the case and woke up in his cot again. He had a sinking feeling that that was exactly what would happen. But nonetheless, he clicked it open, and both men were engulfed in a flash of blue light.

They both landed on a black and white tiled floor. Klaus had  _ no _ idea how he would explain this to Dave, but as he looked up and saw the foyer of his childhood home, he could do nothing but smile.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for reading! Might fuck around and write an epilogue at some point. As always, feedback is appreciated!

**Author's Note:**

> Hope you enjoyed! As always, feedback is appreciated <3


End file.
